by Imagine that two people once close are no longer speaking. It’s almost like a bad romantic comedy where the punchline is never delivered. They are sitting on opposite ends of a couch. There is an invisible gap. Here couples counseling online comes in as a lifeline for relationships that are on the verge of breaking apart.
Couples counselling isn’t a cure-all but it’s pretty close. Imagine peeling the layers off an onion. You may laugh or cry depending on how ridiculous it seems. You’ll see what happens when you begin to talk about feelings that go deeper than your yearbook.
Let’s name our couple Jane & John. They have hit a rough spot, similar to driving through a pothole and ruining your alignment. Jane feels unheard; John feels unappreciated. This is a classic example of miscommunication. The kicker is that both parties think they are correct.
Enter the counsellor, who is also a translator and a referee. First sessions are always awkward, like a date on which you have your emotional baggage. The walls will start to come down.
Jane talks about the frustrations she faces every day. She is frustrated by John’s late night work schedule and fantasy football obsession. John confesses that he feels constantly on the edge of his seat around Jane’s moods swings and long to-do list.
The counselor is attentive, nodding thoughtfully as Yoda would have done if he had not been green and used cryptic words. The real talk comes next: “Why do think you feel like this?” It may sound simple, but it packs a punch stronger than any Marvel superhero.
Jane realizes that she equates John’s long hours with neglect; John sees Jane’s nagging as her way of seeking attention in their crowded life. Jane believes that John’s long working hours are a sign of neglect. John, on the other hand, sees Jane as someone who is trying to gain attention.
A week of therapy can turn into months filled with setbacks and breakthroughs. This is a rollercoaster without seatbelts, but there are safety nets in the form of their ever-patient counsellor.
Other exercises can be more meaningful (like writing each other letters). A memorable task is to swap roles for the day. John will take over household chores and Jane will tackle yard work, as well as grilling hamburgers for dinner. The result? Burnt patties on both sides but a newfound appreciation for each other!
It’s like discovering Wi Fi in the remotest areas. They find new ways to communicate, less yelling and more listening.
It is also important to laugh, because it can help heal.
Now you may be wondering whether every couple should hurry to book therapy sessions ASAP. Maybe not everyone is in need of professional help. But knowing that it’s okay to ask directions if you are lost will save you from unnecessary trips down the road of resentment.
Remember that every relationship will have its ups and lows. What matters is how you handle them together! Who knows? You may one day look back and be proud of how far you came – from being barely spoken strangers sharing a space, to becoming partners who are able to find joy despite the chaos that is life!
You’ll at least have some stories to tell your grandkids one day …”Once, we fought over the toothpaste caps…and then lived happily forever!”